A Gift With Spirit Behind It

The best gift we ever received (gift as in “object given for free,” anyway) came completely out of nowhere.

A few years ago, before Mae was born, we invited some new neighbors over to the farm to meet the alpacas. At one point, the mom asked if we had any alpaca wool she could buy. Her mother spins her own yarn.

Buy? From me? A man with multiple garbage bags full of alpaca wool and absolutely no plan for it?

I said, “Please, take it. I insist. At this rate it’s just going to turn into a field mouse breeding program.”

It was worth maybe twenty bucks. Mostly it just made me feel guilty sitting in the barn.

Months later, when Sue was in the very early days of pregnancy with Mae, they stopped by with a package wrapped in tissue paper.

Inside was a handmade alpaca doll. Fully crocheted. With a tiny sweater. And a little messenger bag.

It was made from yarn her mother had spun by blending our alpacas’ wool with sheep’s wool.

We used that doll to tell my mom she was going to be a grandmother.

And every time I see it, I think: this is what a gift is supposed to feel like.

Contrast that with… pretty much everything else

The Amazon gift card. Basically cash, but with a tithe to Jeff Bezos.

The “free massage coupon” printed from the internet at 11:42pm.

The sweater that doesn’t fit, doesn’t match, and becomes a bonus errand when the giver says, “You can return it!”

Giving gifts can feel like trying to read the mind of someone who has never once expressed a preference.

Receiving them can feel like an exercise in forced gratitude. The emotional Olympics of smiling at something you will never, ever use.

The gifts that stay

Meanwhile, the gifts that have meant the most to me have never been expensive.

There’s the alpaca doll.

And then there are the things Mae gives me. Like the elephant she drew the other day. Basically a circle with eyes, feet, and a single line for a trunk.

It took her ten seconds. And it almost made me cry.

Straight into the save-forever box.

Because it had something in it you can’t buy.

Spirit.

What makes a gift a gift

In The Serviceberry, Robin Wall Kimmerer writes about the gift economy, and it fundamentally changed the way I think about giving.

In that worldview, a gift doesn’t carry a price tag. It carries a relationship.

A real gift contains time, intention, attention, and care.

It circulates meaning.

It deepens connection.

It says, “We belong to each other.”

And then she writes the line I think about constantly:

“A real gift has spirit behind it.”

Why photographs belong here

A printed photograph is one of the very few modern gifts that actually fits that definition.

A photo isn’t ink and paper. It’s a relationship you can hold in your hands.

When a grandparent receives a photo of their kids and grandkids, they aren’t receiving an object.

They’re receiving a reminder of their place in the family. A glimpse of themselves in a grandchild’s expression. A reflection of what they did right.

Since becoming a photographer, I’ve mostly given printed photos as gifts.

No more panic-buying. No more hoping I got it right.

Just this: here’s something with spirit in it. Here’s us.

If you’re staring at your gift list thinking, “I have no idea what to get this person,” this might be your answer.